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This is Julie and uh yea hi welcome

andthenewt:

pocketcucco:

okay now I will share an embarrassing story with you all for sleepover saturday

a while back I went to a gift shop and I saw a basket of these

image

and I was like oh shit I love bouncy balls!! so I grabbed one and threw it on the ground

well

turns out these ones were not bouncy balls and were actually made of glass

omg im actually laughing so hard it hurts

Posted 1 day ago // 172,101 notes // (via neutralpuffins , org. pocketcucco )

questiun:

romeo oh romeo can thou telleth me if i am thy bae or naw

(Source: 6ee)

Posted 1 day ago // 67,014 notes // (via abrupt-fiction , org. 6ee )

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK

YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD

 MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE

Posted 1 day ago // 157,201 notes // (via myradicalromance , org. stereofeathers )
ltalian:

that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say
Posted 1 day ago // 210,258 notes // (via bonebulging-bucket , org. real-tweets )
Posted 1 day ago // 31,684 notes // (via shipeveryonewithsomeone , org. naruchigotsu )

chocolatemew:

i-effed-it-all-up:

songs by florence and the machine make me feel like i need to run barefoot through a misty forest wearing a flower crown

and reveal my true demon form as i burn the forest and everything in it down

Posted 1 day ago // 87,036 notes // (via bonebulging-bucket , org. i-effed-it-all-up )
fitzroythecat:

My weird dog siblings are begging for a sip of coffee.
Posted 1 day ago // 275 notes // (via shipeveryonewithsomeone , org. fitzroythecat )
slythergin:

slytherin-elsa:

My mom got me this shiRT AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD SHE DOESNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHES DONE SHE DOESNT GET THE IRONY IN THIS I AM A CLOSETED LESBIAN THIS IS COMEDY GOLD I MIGHT COME OUT TO HER OVER THIS FUCKING SHIRT JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT STOP LAUGHING

UPDATE: When I told her I’m gay she crossed her arms and said in a really pissed off voice “Are you telling me I spent $15 on that shirt for nothing??”
Posted 1 day ago // 136,361 notes // (via zonkos-jokeshop , org. slythergin )

austere-fallen-angel:

does anybody else clean their phone screen by wiping it on their boob or is that just me

Posted 1 day ago // 24,250 notes // (via odins-one-eyed-fuck , org. austere-fallen-angel )